Updated: Feb 21, 2020
By Mariah Scherlacher photographer and Author
The world feels somewhat angry at me, often, but I don’t really mind. That’s what it’s like being a strong female, that’s what it’s like being a strong female who loves God, even more. I intimidate people. Hell, I’ve intimidated my own lovers. But here’s the thing...I read somewhere that strong women are not intimidating, they are intimidated. There’s a difference. God instilled certain things in me, things that I’ve dug up and pursued. Things that took healing.. This is no place for insecurity, my strength tends to eat it alive. Please, don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to scare you off. I’m just simply sharing with you the patterns and painful truths I’ve uncovered through becoming all that I am today.
I’ve developed a resilience to the turbulences of life probably better than most. Did I ask for it? Not really, no. But this is what happens when you’ve hit rock bottom and looked death in the face. Am I saying that a person needs to find themselves in a hospital room or on the streets in order to change? No. That’s precisely why I’m writing what I’m writing. Most people are too weak, too afraid, or too fearful to let themselves sit and feel, hence why they overcompensate with fixations and obsessions, usually surrounded around something that has nothing to do with internal growth.
Sitting in truth hurts, at the beginning. There’s beauty in this, I promise. The beauty starts showing when the healing starts to take a turn. I’m an advocate, a big time, shoot-for-the-stars, believer in peeling yourself back like an onion and discovering your root issues. Many times this unravels into our most attractive qualities, but for the most part, people don’t want to put in the work, so they’re left year after year sitting in the same uncomfortable skin they deeply hate. Go to church. Involve yourself in a small group, connect with people who you didn’t grow up with. Take a day trip down the shore, bring your journal and talk to God for more than 5 minutes. Deactivate social media for just 2 days, breathe in new encounters. Call your lover and tell them to drop what they’re doing and listen, “I love you, that’s all.” Push yourself, test yourself, dive into intimacy by taking risks. Go to therapy. I’ll say that again -- Go. To. Therapy. There’s nothing like being fully honest without judgement. There’s nothing like unraveling pain and sifting through trauma with someone who was born to help you heal.
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